Thanks to Kim Ayres to pointing out to me that the "Ideal weight" that I had found on the web was inaccurate.
Being 6 feet and a bit tall, my ideal weight is closer to 180lbs. Now that makes more sense doesn't it?
My target weight loss stands now at 170lbs- almost half my current mass. *sigh* I better get cracking then.

I put off joining the gym until tomorrow, the first of February because upon reading their fine printI noticed the first month's payment is only actually valid up until the first of the next month. How sly is that?

I've starting a food journal, but even over the past 2/3 days I've noticed something important.

Monday includes "200g of fruit and nut chocolate", as well as "2 large chunks of cheese".
Now, I could try and excuse away those two things with such excuses as "it had fruit in it" or "it was between slices of wholewheat bread" but I won't. I'm tired of lying to myself. That's going to stop- right........NOW.

How am I going about changing this? Well, I've made several portions of leek, potato and chickpea soup, which I can shove in the microwave should I feel hungry. I'm also going to take bran flakes to work with me as a snack because a) they're healthy, b) they're filling, c)they're tasty and d)it'll make my boss jealous. She loves bran flakes.

It's as if I've never bothered looking at myself in the past few years. To be honest, I am angry with myself for reaching such a shameful state. I'm sweaty, tired and ill all the time, and it's all due to my weight.

I weigh 350 Lbs- this is the first time I've weighed myself in many months, and frankly I am disgusted. I am 127 Lbs overweight, and it's about bloody time I did something about it. I mean- 1/3 of my weight is excess to requirements! I'm lugging around 127 Lbs of useless material!

I've known for a while that I am obese, but there is a difference between knowing and actually understanding that my body is made up of 45 % fat.

I am so pissed off with myself, most of all.